https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/simone-aliya/episodes/2--Whats-Your-Black-Dot-e305p33

“What’s Your Story?'“ It’s a question Bumble dates used to ask me, long ago. “You seem like an interesting girl,” they’d say. Usually “interesting” is how dates described me, although I did get “well-adjusted” once, which made me laugh. With OCD, I’d certainly spent plenty of time adjusting things, but was I myself well-adjusted? Well, that was a work in progress.

For me, other people’s OCD stories have really helped transform painful emotions associated with the disorder, like guilt and shame. Stories can soften, open and connect us—to our true natures and to the world around us. In that spirit, I’ll offer a little bit more of my personal OCD story, which I never shared with those Bumble dates or almost anybody else.

Being particular arises in isolated moments that are fleeting instead of drawn out. It can be experienced by all parties involved as quirky, cute, or only mildly annoying—like something from that French movie Amelie. Being obsessive and compulsive, on the other hand, is chronic and sticky. And definitely not endearing!

https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/simone-aliya/episodes/1--Simone-The-Not-So-Fearless-e305dj9

I want to begin by dedicating this podcast to my Grandma Helen, a Holocaust survivor who had undiagnosed OCD, specifically the hoarding kind. In her Polish accent, she’d often say, “Don’t tell nobody nothing.” I think that, for my Grandma and also my dad, her son, silence was a means of survival. For years, to protect myself, I stayed quiet and hid my battle with OCD. But I’ve come to believe that not somehow sharing our stories is riskier than holding them in the light is. For me, as vulnerable as it feels, talking about my OCD and sharing a different kind of story about myself than the one my ex-fiancée shared about me on social media long ago has been one of the keys to my freedom. Freedom from the chronic guilt, shame, isolation, and fear that come with the disorder. In this first episode, I finally tell somebody something––offering how I came to create this podcast, its meaning to me, and my excitement about helping others with OCD live better with their doubt.